You say goodbye, I say hello

Posted on | Saturday, May 14, 2011 | 1 Comment

We don't always realize how many people care about us until it's we say goodbye to them. I have lived in Oklahoma for over four years and in that time I've made wonderful friends and rekindled relationships with some people that I was lucky enough to know since I was a small child. I don't see many of these people often (as is often the case, sadly) but that doesn't make them any less important.

Even though this move is the best thing for me (in both literal and metaphorical sense) there is still a saddness to all the well wishes and goodbyes. It could easily be years before I see some of these people again. I know that I will see a few of them again at my wedding, but after that who knows.

The hardest person to say goodbye to is Katy. She's my sister and my best friend, and neither of us seem ready to accept that very soon we will be states apart. It's hard to think that we will be limited to facebook chats, Skype, and phone calls. While it's better than nothing it certainly is not the same.

Mom and I have made plans for a weekly Skype date (moreso for Kael's benefit than ours). Perhaps Katy and I can plan a monthly date night (cook the same meal and watch a movie together, maybe) too.

As sad as the goodbyes were it was wonderful to see so many people together at once again. I'm so glad that such a large number was able to make it. Thank you to everyone who came and gave me hugs and wishes of good luck.

Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred!!

Posted on | Wednesday, April 13, 2011 | 2 Comments

I realized after posting my last blog post that this would be my 100th blog post. I’m honestly shocked I’ve reached the one hundred mark so quickly. I thought I would have time to plan for something splendid and wonderful, but I seemed to be a little bit pressed for time. That, and I'm still sicker than a dog and not up for doing anything flashy.

Ten things I love Sunday!

Posted on | Monday, March 21, 2011 | No Comments

Okay, so this is a day late. Yesterday was the last full day I was going to spend with Alex while here and I could not willingly spend more that fifteen minutes piddling around on my laptop when he was sitting right next to me. Besides, the weather has been BEAUTIFUL this week. Absolutely gorgeous. I'm taking bets that Oklahoma will be purposefully cold this evening just to spite me.

This list of ten things will likely have more to do with my stay in Alabama than the random cute things I find online when I have nothing else to do I hope my darling readership won't mind.

1. Spring Has Sprung

It's been coming for a few weeks now. Buds popping up all over trees and new greenery sprouting from the earth. But in the past week especially it's errupted. Spring has exploded all over and the world is suddenly vibrant and bright and colorful. Well, at least here in Alabama it is. I'm not too sure how Oklahoma is fairing, but I can readily assume it will be spring-like, albeit a few degrees colder.

2. Bruster's


So *technically* this isn't Bruster's ice cream. But it looks like it could be! I'd never been to Brusters before this week, but I have to admit I'm officially hooked. Their ice cream tastes phenomenal, and with the aformentioned warmer weather that we've been experiencing it is definitely a timely treat. I am in love with their 'Cake Batter' and 'White Turtle' flavors. An intervention might be needed once I move here.

3. Less Internet


The internet is one of those things that you don't really realize you use all the time until you don't. I've spent maybe a quarter of the time I normally do online, and that's mostly to check my email and to make sure that Facebook hasn't burst into flames. But as I look back on this week I have to admit, shutting off my laptop and ditching the internet (at least somewhat) has been liberating. Alex and I have mentioned consolidating our two laptops into one desktop when we move into a house, and I'm beginning to really love the idea.

4. Sleep

Add 1 part Mommy, 1 part Student, 1 part Employee. Add a heaping tablespoon of insomnia and a dash of FMS to taste. Mix well and bake for two hours. That's basically me, on a daily routine. Mininmal sleep and leaning to the side of grouchy. It has been so delightful this week to sleep. To just sleep. And get up when I feel like it. I didn't value this nearly enough before I became a mother. Now? It's like a miracle.

5. Coffee

If you know me you know I love coffee. It's my "thing". I'm a bit picky about my coffee, too. I don't want to spend my money (or my time) on a cup of joe that leaves me unsatisfied. I'm normally a Starbucks girl. Skinny caramel macchiato, maybe a toffee nut mocha. Alex took me to a new coffee shop this week that's here in Prattville, House of Java. It has dethroned Starbucks in the best possible way. The only downer is that there isn't one in Oklahoma. Which means I have to be unsatisfied with Starbucks until this summer. C'est la vie.

6. Being Outside

See my first loved thing this week. Beautiful weather and being outside go hand in hand, it seems. Going to parks, taking nice leisurely strolls, sitting outside with a good drink and a book. Things we wouldn't do if the weather were dreary or cold. And it's so nice to be able to step outside barefoot and not want to run back into the house. It's like the seasonal bout of cabin fever has finally ended.

7. Bicycles

Laugh if you wish, but I never really learned how to ride a bike growing up. And as an adult I've usually had a small child around preventing me from practicing very much. Not to mention that bicycles are rather expensive for a college student budget. But! This past week I put all of that aside and rode a bike! I may have been screeching like a banshee and partially crashed, but I did it! I'm excited about this summer when I move here and I can legitimately practice (and hopefully crash less), even though it was a bit scary it was really fun, too.

8. Happy Thoughts

This is one of those things that needs to be printed and put all around my house. I've been sad the past few days because I am going back to Oklahoma today, but this is a great reminder. I deserve to be happy. And so I'm gonna be.

9. Cupcakes

First off, don't these things look absolutely scrumptious?! I love them. Like little bursts of happy that we get to eat -- or whoever was near this photographer, at least. But it leads me to another happy thing from this week. Donna's cupcakes. Donna is a friend from church (who I still need to add of Facebook, whoops) who has offered to make our cupcakes for the wedding. They are INCREDIBLE. Donna, if you ever read this open a bakery, I will buy things from you daily!

10. Animal Pajamas

Okay, I know these are expensive but OMG I WANT THEM. The panda bear and the chipmunk make me do that hand-flaily thing because the are so cute and they look so incredibly COMFY. I mean look at them! Super comfy adult animal pajamas! How can you NOT love this?!

Happy birthday to you...

Posted on | Monday, January 31, 2011 | 1 Comment

"Neither rain, nor sleet..."

Posted on | Tuesday, January 25, 2011 | No Comments

"... Nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these courageous couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." While the saying was originally created sometime around 500 B.C by the Greeks it's still a rather relevant adage for the events that happened earlier this week. You see, a small parcel was left on my door step.

This is around the time that I could say something catty like, "I wonder what it could be?" However that would imply my audience lacks the most basic reading comprehension skills. I guffaw at the very thought! Of course you all remember the voting that occurred earlier this month, which can only mean one thing --

Adios, 2010!

Posted on | Friday, December 31, 2010 | No Comments

It's the last day of the year; and although I know a great deal has happened this year, I don't feel that sense of awing retrospect that usually comes with reviewing a year in its entirety. I know I should. This year has been awash with ups and downs, thankfully there have been far more ups. So strange to look back at January and know it really has not been that long. It feels like another world.

Gratitude!

Posted on | Thursday, November 25, 2010 | 1 Comment

It's Thanksgiving here, and in a few short hours Alex, Kael, and I will be joining friends and family in the yearly celebration. Although I know that I will be posting a million pictures of turkey and pie and people by this evening I feel I should take a moment to list the things I am truly thankful for. Because Thanksgiving isn't about the food, or the football, or the excuse to use my camera. It's a reminder of the things that really matter.

This year I am thankful for:

My almost-husbeast Alexander--Elephant, my wonderful, wonderful man. You love and respect me, you remind me to laugh (even at myself), share every silly giddy moment with me, and value every part of the person I am. I've let you know the real me, and I know I can always be myself around you. I'm so blessed to have found you.
My amazing son Kael--My darling boy who is growing up so fast. I am so blessed to be your mother. You have inspired me to be far more than I could ever imagined. Made me strong, proven that I can do things far bigger than I ever thought possible. You've taught me patience, and to value each moment I have because I know that in a moment I will blink and you will be grown.
My incredible friends--Each and every one of you, even those who don't read this blog, I love you. My guiding light when things were darkest and my laughter and hope when I need it most. I would be lost without such amazing friends, I love each of you. You are so much more than I deserve.
My wonderful family--Even though I come from a big family I still feel like I am connected to each and every one of you. When I was younger I didn't fully realize how valuable and special having family really was, and I'm so thankful that all of you were patient enough for me to realize and truly appreciate what a gift family is.
My tiny home--Even though I have had issues with the apartment I live in I continually remind myself that many are not even blessed with a house to live in, or running water, or heat. Who am I to complain when I have all of these and more. It is something worth remembering.
My rather interesting job--I sometimes wish I had more hours, or at least that I was given more credit for the work I do; but even with all of that I am so lucky to be employed in this economy. That it is a job that my body can physically manage. It can be horribly stressful, but I am lucky to have it. In comparison to many jobs I've held this is a blessing.
My so-so health--Even though I have gotten sick often this year it has still been a mild for my autoimmune disease. It's hard for me to be thankful for my disabilities, but reminding myself that I haven't needed to go to the ER or Urgent Care this season is an accomplishment, and one to be thankful for.



HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!

Hungarian stream of consciousness

Posted on | Wednesday, November 17, 2010 | No Comments

The holidays are fast approaching. I suppose if you want to be technical they have already arrived. Droves of parents at Target on their lunch breaks trying to find the perfect Barbie Dream House or Star Wars Boba Fet costume. Shopping for miscellaneous baked goods and the yearly mad dash for that one ingredient that somehow missed the shopping cart. Thanksgiving has always felt like it's own entity to me, close to Christmas but not connected. I can't quite get into the 'Christmas Spirit' until after Thanksgiving has passed. Seeing all these lights and decorations up already is throwing me off. One holiday at a time, please!

When I lived in Hungary there was only Christmas. November was simply used to prepared for the month-long event. The 25th itself was somber and reserved, but leading up to it? Incredible. Like the North Pole exploded all over Eastern Europe. There are festivals. And dancing. And music. And Craft Fairs on every corner and in every square, rows of colorful tents selling meticulously carved figurines and hand-knit clothing. And food. So much food. We would spend hours baking cookies and cakes in our tiny kitchen, and there was always a demand for more. But of all the foods we cooked and ate lángos was, and is, my favorite. It's baked and fried at nearly every festival and event in Hungary year 'round. If there is an event or celebration there is lángos, it's like gravity. It will always be there.

Lángos is important. Everyone eats it. There would be street vendors on almost every corner during Christmas, with lines going on for ages. Even if you knew there would be a 30 minute wait you still huddled together and waiting expectantly, because it was That. Good. Soft dough fried in oil and covered in salt and butter (and if you are lucky sour cream). It is something that I miss every holiday season.

I wasn't just the food that defined the Christmas celebrations though, it's everything that came with it. For lángos vendors it was the laughing children and the wonderful smell that would permeate everything -- hot bread mingling with snow, smoke, and wood chips. Hot bread that came out piping hot and fresh, steam rising in curls around half-frozen fingers. Butter and salt melting far too quickly. We'd gobble it down, in -10*C weather it wouldn't stay hot for long.

Then there is dancing at Dom Ter, the Cathedral Square, on creaky wooden boards that had likely been used as a stage for longer than I have been living. Brightly colored garlands and lights decorating the church and it's pavilion where the festivities were held. Old men in scruffy white and gray beards wearing worn jackets, singing with everything they have. There is a sadness in their singing, but the smiles on their faces stay firmly in place. Cold feet stomping to the rhythm against wooden boards as a dance starts. It didn't matter if you had no idea who you were dancing with, we danced anyway. We would laugh until tears came, until our faces ached. The older men who had seen famine and pain would buy the girls paper flowers. I remember one man kissing my forehead and saying I was his angel, tears in his eyes as he smiled at me.

Seeing the the entire city come alive was tremendous. As though Christmas captivated everything with its awe and wonder. Lights were strung and decorations scatter the streets, at night it bordered on ethereal. Especially after the first snow. December became a month dedicated to enjoying family. Joining together friends and family and valuing the time spent. I would venture out with my host family to go ice skating, or to listen to my uncle play his violin. I would go out with school friends at night and sing carols in butchered Hungarian (much to their amusement) as snow crunched below our feet and shop owners tried to call people in promising good food and cheap deals. It was so much more than receiving the most gifts. It was about valuing those around you.

I haven't felt that about Christmas in years, now. I don't know why. I can't quite mourn the loss of not having Hungary here with me still. It's in my heart no matter where I might be. I don't need to look very far to bring back the memories and share them with the people I value most.

I found a video on YouTube of Szeged during Christmas. The music is... Well, awful. But seeing all the places I treasure so greatly made me smile and filled me with anticipation. This Christmas will be about valuing those I love. It's not going to be about present, but about the time spent.



I meant to write about the cookies I baked yesterday. I suppose my mind was dwelling on other things that deserve to be remembered.

(Soon to be) Husbeast

Posted on | Sunday, November 14, 2010 | 2 Comments

I have been battling a cold for the past several days, which has given me ample time to think (or at the very least try to think whilst my brain is addled by Nyquil). And in between coughs and sneezes one thought came to mind: Elephants and Superglue.

You see, Alex and I have secret code words for "I love you". Some came from books, or from just silly moments we've had. But those two... those are the special ones. They mean something deep, deep down that I still don't entirely have words for. It will hit me suddenly, in bursts, the quiet knowing that what we have is something incredible.

It's Alex, my slayer of zombies and creator of napalm.

It's watching him on Skype with Kael, his attention rapt on every word coming out of that little voice. Playing hide and seek through computer screens just to get that extra giggle. Or better yet, watching them play together at the park or even in our living room. It's like magic. He's an incredible father, even if he doesn't know it yet. Regardless of what is happening if Kael wants to talk to him, there's time. Always.

It's how we can have a three hour drive and not once turn on the radio because we truly enjoy each others company. We debate, and we argue--sometimes to the point that I want to whack my head against a wall. But even then he is extraordinary. He makes me think, makes me back up my opinions and he pushes me because he knows I am smart enough to push back. And he listens. Not just nodding here and there to give the illusion of interest, he delves into topics with such ferocity that we spend hours discussing anything from politics to the importance planning for zombie invasions. He challenges me to think, and to not let my emotions get the better of me.

It's how he takes care of me. I'm not broken to him, and he doesn't treat me like some frail thing that is about to wither away. He loves me not in spite of my disabilities but because of them. The days that I am stuck in bed he calls and texts me, making sure I am okay. I can call him and just say "I'm having one of the bad days" and he already knows what to say to get me smiling again. And the days that I feel I can run a marathon he reminds me that I am, in fact, not the Bionic Woman.

He takes the trash out for me, carries the heavy grocery bags, sends me random texts every day, answers his phone at any hour of the night, reads me bedtime stories, reminds me to eat, skips with me around the park because he's just as silly as I am (though he may never admit to it fully), sends me flowers, makes me flowers... This list can go on for ages.

It's why I love him.

I, on the other hand, have the attention span of a Great Dane puppy and use guttural sounds to express my emotions. I also flail. A lot. And will bound across the room in Harry Potter induced, geeked-out fangirling. Or explode in silliness over a too-cute-for-words baby beluga plushie at the Atlanta Aquarium. I break into song, too. I've woken him up on his days off from work at 7am to tell him such things as, "OMG THERE'S A BUNCH OF BIRDS OUTSIDE AND THEY ARE FLYING SUPER CLOSE I NEED A NERF GUN" or "GELATO IS AMAZING, SO IS POPCORN".

Have I mentioned that he's patient? And gorgeous. He denies this, but anyone who has met him will beg to differ. He's not one of those jock-jerks that saunters up in a Tapout shirt flexing his muscles and expecting women to faun over him. Oh no. He's the guy that will do intellectual laps around you without trying. The guy that isn't afraid to get dirty and takes pride in his work. The guy that will melt you by smiling. And then amaze you as he holds the door for that elderly woman, or is out taking photographs that deserve to be in National Geographic. The guy that makes girls think, "He's definitely taken, dammit."

Yep.
















I'm a lucky girl.

Happy birthday, Kael

Posted on | Tuesday, October 26, 2010 | No Comments

Today you are four.

















You were born and the two miscarriages before you healed. You were a little miracle in the making, even if you didn't realize it. From seven months on it was twice a week visits to the hospital because my kidney's had begun to fail and my heart was working to keep up. I was told again and again that if any tests showed you were not doing well it would mean an emergency cesarean. Yet at every hospital visit you were bigger and stronger. My body was slowly falling apart and you were untouched somehow. I kept telling myself if you would keep going so would I.

















11:11 am and you were born. You were perfect. Bright red and indignant at the world you had been unceremoniously welcomed to. I told you hello and you opened your eyes, because you knew that voice. You knew me.

You made me strong, Kael. Without realizing it you saved me. You've given me the strength to do things I never could have imagined accomplishing. I hope one day I can show you, but until then I will embrace every silly giggle-filled moment we have.

















I love you my little man.