Ten things

Posted on | Sunday, May 22, 2011 | 1 Comment

Normally on Sundays I find ten pictures of different things that I find cute or lovely and I share them along with a short commentary. Today is a bit different, I'm not going to post ten things I love. I'm going to do a gratitude post instead. Life has been very hectic and upsetting this week. Very much at-the-end-of-my-rope-tie-a-knot-and-hang-on kind of week. I'm holding on, and I know it's going to get easier very soon, but it's still been incredibly difficult to focus on that fact.


So today I shall remind myself of at least ten good things I have in my life right now (even if some of them are horribly obvious). No pictures this week, since some of these things don't have pictures to go with them.

1. Movement. Today Kael and I went on a 4.5 mile long walk. We walked to the park and played, then walked further down the road to Starbucks where we bought two huge waters and a doughnut for the little man. I forget sometimes that not everyone would find this amazing, but I certainly do. There are times that walking from the kitchen to my bed is a challenge, what a wonderful thing it is for me to be able to spend four hours outside with my son as we played, even if I am a bit sore and tired now.

2. Rain. We had an incredible storm roll through earlier this week as some of you may remember me blogging about. The much needed rain brought with it lush greens and vibrant colors. Although Oklahoma isn't in a drought like Texas, it still tends to only have a short lived season of greenery and it's so nice to have that back, if only for a little bit.

3. Surrender. That is such a powerful word. To let go of the things I cannot change or control and focus on what is within my ability. I'm so fortunate to have people in my life that remind me of that. I need to let go of the fact that a lot is happening around me and I cannot be in charge of it all, even if I try.

4. Friends. I don't give them enough credit. I truly don't. I have so many people who love me and care for me. Friends far and wide who make me feel connected and grounded and loved. I would be lost without such a backbone of support. I can only hope I am as good of a friend to them as they have been to me.

5. Alex. He is a freaking rockstar. He really, really is. He kicks butt at work and has made it possible for me to stay home with Kael after the move. He's got our house in fabulous shape and snubbed his nose at the rules of physics whilst getting our fridge inside the kitchen (I'll let him exlain that sometime later). He has been amazing at keeping me calm and centered through all of this. Seriously, a freaking rock. star.

6. Kael. He has been pushing me this week. Doing things that he normally wouldn't do (running off the moment I look away, throwing toys, being physically aggressive with anything that moves or breathes). I've caught myself asking, "Where is my little boy? Who is this child?!" But I have forgotten to focus. He still cuddles me in the morning. He kisses my boo-boos after calming down from a tantrum. He is still just a sweet as he ever was, he just needs more from me right now.

7. Coffee. Yes, this naturally made the list. While living in Hungary coffee became integral to daily life. It was almost ritualistic. Piping hot espresso served in a shot glass, a cube of sugar, and a few moments of quite reflection. Sipping my coffee is like a quiet pause in my day to reflect and think. It's lovely that I can have that.

8. Perspective. I complain about my toilet acting up, or that packing my apartment is stressful and taxing... but I should think of these things with perspective. I have a home to pack. I have clean running water. I don't have to wonder where my next meal will be coming from. While my life is difficult, no doubt, having the reminder of how my life could be makes me grateful for everything I do have.

9. Faith. I have been failing at letting go of things. I have to remind myself to lean on God and to be at peace with whatever He has planned for me. I am so grateful to have my faith and sunch a powerful moral compass that guides me. I don't know what kind of person I would be -- or how I would cope -- if it weren't for my ability to give things to God when they become too much. It's such a glorious gift.

10. My life in general. I am so blessed. More than I realize most of the time. My life is amazing and rich and I couldn't be happier. Alright, maybe I could be happier. If I could snap my fingers and have this move over and done with. Or if I could wiggle my nose and have all the stressors of my life melt away. I would probably explode with joy if that happened. But that would be messy.

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Gratitude!

Posted on | Thursday, November 25, 2010 | 1 Comment

It's Thanksgiving here, and in a few short hours Alex, Kael, and I will be joining friends and family in the yearly celebration. Although I know that I will be posting a million pictures of turkey and pie and people by this evening I feel I should take a moment to list the things I am truly thankful for. Because Thanksgiving isn't about the food, or the football, or the excuse to use my camera. It's a reminder of the things that really matter.

This year I am thankful for:

My almost-husbeast Alexander--Elephant, my wonderful, wonderful man. You love and respect me, you remind me to laugh (even at myself), share every silly giddy moment with me, and value every part of the person I am. I've let you know the real me, and I know I can always be myself around you. I'm so blessed to have found you.
My amazing son Kael--My darling boy who is growing up so fast. I am so blessed to be your mother. You have inspired me to be far more than I could ever imagined. Made me strong, proven that I can do things far bigger than I ever thought possible. You've taught me patience, and to value each moment I have because I know that in a moment I will blink and you will be grown.
My incredible friends--Each and every one of you, even those who don't read this blog, I love you. My guiding light when things were darkest and my laughter and hope when I need it most. I would be lost without such amazing friends, I love each of you. You are so much more than I deserve.
My wonderful family--Even though I come from a big family I still feel like I am connected to each and every one of you. When I was younger I didn't fully realize how valuable and special having family really was, and I'm so thankful that all of you were patient enough for me to realize and truly appreciate what a gift family is.
My tiny home--Even though I have had issues with the apartment I live in I continually remind myself that many are not even blessed with a house to live in, or running water, or heat. Who am I to complain when I have all of these and more. It is something worth remembering.
My rather interesting job--I sometimes wish I had more hours, or at least that I was given more credit for the work I do; but even with all of that I am so lucky to be employed in this economy. That it is a job that my body can physically manage. It can be horribly stressful, but I am lucky to have it. In comparison to many jobs I've held this is a blessing.
My so-so health--Even though I have gotten sick often this year it has still been a mild for my autoimmune disease. It's hard for me to be thankful for my disabilities, but reminding myself that I haven't needed to go to the ER or Urgent Care this season is an accomplishment, and one to be thankful for.



HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!

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Gratia

Posted on | Thursday, September 23, 2010 | 1 Comment

Alright, I have spent the past few days angry and whining and made of fail. You know what that means..

GRATITUDE POST!

1. Autumn. I love it. It's slowly creeping in, and it's so wonderful. The days are getting noticeably cooler and I've noticed leaves beginning to change. I can't wait for the array of red gold and bronze. This morning driving to work the clouds were incredible. The sun caught them and it turned into a million colors streaking across the sky. It seems these sunrises only happen during autumn and I cherish them all the more because of it. The weather is perfect for going outside and now that Kael is feeling better(ish) we may finally have an opportunity to enjoy a day that is not sweltering beyond reason.

2. Food. I have been making delicious meals for the first time in a long while. I don't know what tipped me back into this urge to cook - fall, perhaps? I am happy to be back in the mindset of creating my own food again, I'd become so engrossed with boxed and frozen food I'd almost forgotten how rewarding it is to make things with my own two hands. The only thing that could make this better is if I had people to share this goodness with. Then I remind myself that soon enough we'll be a family of three and in the next few months I'll have plenty of events to cook for - Kael's fourth birthday, Thanksgiving, and New Years come to mind.

3. Christmas. It is official - we are going to Las Vegas for Christmas break! Me, Alex, Kael, my parents, and my Uncle and his children will be visiting with my Grandparents to celebrate their 50th anniversary. We will only be spending a day and a half in Las Vegas itself, but I am so incredibly excited. Neither I nor Kael has seen my Grandparents in three years and this will be the first time they meet Alex. What a wonderful way to spend the season!

4. Clutter. I'm getting rid of it and it feels great. Kael's school is having this huge Yard Sale to raise money for the school and I'm taking that as an opportunity to get rid of things around the house that are no longer needed, or never have been needed. I've gon through Kael's and my closets and donated our clothes to Goodwill and gave half of his unneeded clothing to his daycare. My mind feels so much calmer now that my house isn't swarming with stuff, clutter always makes me antsy and it's relaxing to be rid of it.

5. Coffee. I finally caved in and bought a coffee press. I've been using a stove top peculator since I moved into my own apartment, and now coffee from a regular carafe seems watered down to me. Sadly my peculator was on its last leg three months ago and I had been enduring metallic tasting coffee with a grimace. Now? I remember why I love coffee so much. It's the small things.

6. Kael. Even when this kid drives me nuts, he is the cutest, most loving and happy guy ever. I catch myself sometimes watching him, because I'm seeing the Man He Will Be. Little things he does, a strong stance with hands on his hips as he stares out the window. He serious expression as he helps to stir in the ingredients for dinner. He is growing, that soft center of infancy is hardening into the person he will be and it's incredible.

7. Alex. This is a big one. I don't think I spend enough time really understanding how lucky I am that serendipitous happenstances caused us to meet. He's made me laugh when I'm sad, called me when I am spitting fire and profanity, and reads me to sleep every night because it means I won't have another nightmare. He laughs at my childishness and joins me when I am being silly, yet we can sit for hours and talk about anything and everything. I love car rides with him because we never have to turn on the radio. I take for granted how great we have it, even with the ridiculous distance.

8. My life in general. I am so blessed. My life is amazing and rich and I couldn't be happier. ...Okay, I could be. If I magically was transported to Alabama with two big bags of cash and my besties moved in down the street I would probably explode with joy. But that would be messy.

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About

Photobucket I was born and raised in California. I have also lived in Hungary, Texas, Alabama, Oklahoma, and I will be moving again this summer. Kael is my incredibly awesome kiddo who is growing up far too quickly, and Alex is my fiance who makes me happier than should be legally allowed. I write about them a lot. I'm mildly obsessed with cooking and photography. I write about those things, too.

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